Jim!

(This entry is brought forward from a previous website that I recently unearthed.)

• Idiot Drivers II
To carry on with the Idiot Drivers section of our show, I’d like to share with you three basic things that would cut down on accidents that happen on the expressway. Unfortunately not many people have read this list or have this amount of common sense (see Obituary for more on that topic). I spend a lot of time driving on I-75, US-23, I-96, I-275, I-696, and sometimes on I-94 in this area. The amount of pure idiots sharing the road with me (anywhere from 2 to 5 lanes) is staggering, especially when you consider that at one point or another they took and passed a test to get/keep a driver’s license. Here, then, are 3 basic principals that would save a lot of time, accidents, money, and keep the friggin’ traffic moving.

1 – Stay In Your Frikkin’ Lane. Nothing is more irritating or dangerous that some jackass who constantly feels the other lane is better/faster/more direct. Especially morons who drive across 2 or 3 lanes of traffic to get to an exit. The road commission has put a lot of thought and spent a lot of money to place directional signs along the expressway so that you wouldn’t have to drive 80 mph across 3 lanes of traffic so you can get off the expressway to get to McDonald’s.

2 – Learn How To Merge. – Seems people have forgotten how to enter the expressway. It is the responsibility of the driver entering the expressway to fit into the existing traffic pattern without disrupting it. ANY DAY I can take you out and show you that at least 50% of the drivers I encounter believe the flowing traffic is obligated to make room for them and drive blindly down the on-ramp, expecting a hole (apologies to Courtney Love) to open up and let them in.

3 – Respect the space of other drivers. – Driving too close to others is just asking for trouble, yet ass-wipes who feel it necessary to drive so close behind you that you can’t see their headlights think it’s a way to get you to move. That does not work for me, Ladies and Gentlemen, because I will become an obstinate driver and set the cruise. You can either go around or get comfortable. Also, flashing your headlights (unless you’re law enforcement) to get me to move results in a reduction in speed.

I think I’m WAY over due for a blog entry. I can blame my absence on a multitude of things, but largely it’s LIFE and all its concerns that keep my focus away. Of course, my Lifestream keeps a pretty good history/accounting of what’s going on. I’ll get back up on the horse shortly…I promise.